I can't help but think back about being pregnant with him, is kicks and rolls in my belly, the emergancy room visit early on when they thought I was losing him, the hoping he was a girl (sorry Alex), the bitter sweet sight of his red hair, a gift from his Grandpa who died before ever knowing of him. I remember the day he was born, probably more than the others since I new in my heart it was going to be my last, even though I was only 30. All my boys were concieved through IVF, so achieving a pregnancy was not fun or easy. It was a long, and both physically and emotionally draining process. A positive pregnancy result was a needed relief and accomplishment, not a little "surprise". Not to say any other pregnancy and birth isn't as special, but when you struggle and fight for something, I do think the reward seems greater. I knew I couldn't handle anymore hormones, shots, blooddraws, hospital stays, so this was it.
That day, I had dropped off my oldest, who was 4, at preschool and was driving home when the "real" contractions hit. Anyone who has done labor a few times, knows the difference. I remember thinking "Crap! I'm not ready for this today!". I had a c-section scheduled in another two weeks, but little Alex had a different idea.
When he was born and I heard the words "It's a boy!", I felt both happiness, relief, and a little sad. I always pictured myself with three DAUGHTERS not sons. This meant it was official, I was to be the mom of sons. Three men to raise. Now looking back though, I know it is exactly how it should be. We seem to concentrate so much on what we don't have, or how our lives would be "if only". I think it is much better to focus on how it is, things you can't change and try to appreciate them. If you can change it then do, if it is beyond your control focus on what you have. What I have is three beautiful boys which is kind of ironic. I am the complete opposite of a tom-boy, I like girl things and you'd know it if you knew me, but I relate well to men. I've always had good male friends and I hope I do a decent job raising three kind and compassionate men. It'll be a big job, believe me. But little Alex will always be little Alex. If he gets married someday,I feel for his wife because she'll have to deal with that. And me too :)
I was 55lbs. heavier after I had my last. I could barely sit up after my last c-section. I like to look back at the pictures and see how far I have come. And I want to remind myself of what an amazing thing my body did, grow a human being. When I look in the mirror and I see my stretch marks, I think of my kids and how it is a permanent reminder of them, the time they spent connected to me. They don't seem ugly at all (although I pick swimwear accordingly;)). Be proud of what your body can do and has done for you. And take care of it!
This weeks playlist is called "Move It" songs that refer to moving, like running, jumping, walking,etc. Enjoy!
Move It (43.8 minutes)
1.Wake me Up Before You Go-Go- Wham! (warm-up)
2.Walk Like an Egyptian- The Bangles (run)
3.I'll Tumble for Ya- Boy George (run)
4.Walk Away- Kelly Clarkson (climb)
5.Movin On Up- M people (recovery run)
6.Jump, Jive, and Wail- Brian Setzer Orchestra (resistance build)
7.Jump- Flo Rida (jumps and run)
8.Walk This Way- Run DMC (climb)
9.Bust a Move- Young MC (run)
10.The Distance- Cake (seated climb)
11. I'm Gonna Be- The Proclaimers (run with resistance)
12.Running on Empty- Jackson Browne (cool down)
Happy Birthday Alex!
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